In life, there is always tension. Oftentimes there is tension in relationships, in homes, or in jobs, and almost always there is tension within one’s heart. Because we have the gift of free choice, there tends to be a tension when it comes to making decisions. For example, if I want to get healthier, I should choose to eat foods that benefit my body, however, I also have the option of eating chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream (which I really love), so now there is the tension of having to decide whether I eat healthy, or whether I throw that out the window and just eat the chocolate cake and ice cream. (Now I really want chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream!) But on a more serious note, as a follower of Jesus, I have to learn to live in a constant tension between living within the confines of space and time and being fully present, and living with a future, heaven-focused mindset. Although that is the case all the time, the current situation with COVID-19 has made it all that more real to me.
Just within the last few weeks, life has changed drastically for pretty much everyone around the world. Here in Honduras it certainly has. We are so fortunate to live in the village of La Venta and not be as affected as those who live in the cities or on the coast (where the quarantines are being enforced more strictly), but even here in La Venta, everything is different. We at least have the freedom to go to the mountain to hike, or go to the pulperia (mini food market) to get basic food items, but everything like soccer games and church services and any large social gatherings are cancelled, and there are so many people that are now jobless with very little means of getting their basic necessities*. It’s heartbreaking to see the way that this virus has so quickly ruined lives, businesses, and entire economies. Honestly it should act as a wakeup call to all of us-- it certainly has for me. The current circumstances the world finds itself in is blatant evidence of the lack of control we have and the lack of security we can find in anything outside of Jesus. I am so thankful that I can place my trust completely in the Sovereign Lord who is not surprised by this virus and all that comes with it; He has the ultimate say and no matter what happens, He has the victory. So even in the midst of this chaos, I can find my peace and joy in Him and His goodness and faithfulness. What a privilege it is to live in relationship with the Creator and King of Heaven and Earth.
So with all that said, I want to return to the topic of living in the present but with a heaven mindset. It’s something that believers have to learn in their walk with Christ-- to be intentional, to live with purpose, and to accept with grace the limitations of what it means to be human and that we only have so much strength and energy and time. God is outside of space and time; we are not. However, because we are citizens of Heaven, we ought to live with hope for that future and in such a way that reflects our citizenship there, even though residing there is not yet our present reality. So in that, there is a tension, and one I am currently trying to understand better. With everything going on in the world, there is a sense of everything changing, and changing in such a way that really sets the stage for the end times and the tribulation and the rising of the antichrist. Honestly, it’s rather frightening. Although it’s true that it could all happen at any moment, it just feels more real right now than it ever has, and it has gotten my attention. When I first started realizing the weight of what that could mean, I felt a sense of sadness. A sadness for those who still don’t know Jesus as their Lord; a sadness for how awful the final 7 years will be; a sadness for dreams that will never come true. That last one seems selfish, and at first I felt really guilty. I found myself thinking that I must not love God enough if I’m sad over things I’d like to do here on earth, like start a coffee shop ministry, or have a family, or take Mario to Wyoming and show him my home, but then Jesus reminded me that it’s not wrong to want those things. They’re good, beautiful things. They only become an issue if they become my heart’s desire more than Jesus is. So in this, He’s teaching me how to hand those dreams to Him and rejoice in the hope of Heaven. But then as I began to consider how everything could happen at any moment, I found myself losing vision and motivation to still be intentional in the present moment. But the truth is that: I do live in the present moment; I am confined to it; I don’t know when everything will happen, only He does; He doesn’t want me to just wait around for Him to come, rather He wants me to live life to the fullest, and that’s done by living intentionally and for His glory. And with it all feeling so much closer and more real that Jesus could return soon, it has got me thinking so much more about how I’m living and what I spend my time doing. I don’t want to be doing anything that could separate me from Him. I want to be sensitive to His Spirit and His guidance throughout every moment of the day. I want to live in such a way that reflects that my home is Heaven, but at the same time being fully present. I want to hear Jesus tell me someday: “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” and honestly it doesn’t make much sense to believe that I will hear that if I am just waiting around and not doing anything to serve Him or further His Kingdom. So right now I’m learning to live in that tension between the present moment and eternity in Heaven. Isn’t it so wonderful to know that God is in both!
*With the virus robbing so many people of jobs and the money to buy their next meal, we have the goal of raising $2,000 to buy food to give out to some of the families with the most need here in La Venta. If that is something that God puts on your heart, you can donate through Friendship Sports International, either on the website www.friendshipsports.net, or you can send a check to: Friendship Sports International, 1205 Blue Water Court Cody, WY 82414. Thank you so much! We also ask for prayers for God’s provision and healing, both in this country and around the world.
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